Update on myself

This post is not for commenting but I thought I'd just let everyone know how I'm really doing.

Job wise its ok, nothing much different than I had expected.

Football wise I'm bussier than hell and truly enjoying it. A great possibility of us going 10 - 0 this year. We've already clinched first place and homefield for the playoffs. If we win both playoff games then the Canadian Junior Football Championship is here in Nanaimo. Should be a team from the prairies conference but could be a team from Quebec if they get lucky. Lots of dinner parties and socializing durring this time.

Personaly wise I'm doing ok. I met someone and we went out once. Meeting for lunch this week to set up something for Sunday. Saturday is football day and shes really not into sports LOL. Seems nice, not sure where its going but I'll let you know as I know. Missing dad a bunch. A few times I've thought I would have called him on certain occasions but can't do that any more. His birthday was tough. Was away in Kelowna for a game but was really down and people noticed. I wore a shirt of dads and the Raiders ball cap I gave him before the cruise. Not alot of mourning but I'm very emotional at times.

Health wise I'm not sure. I have to make an appointment to see the Dr. I've had a few panick attacks and had to take a pill. I think about my breathing all the time. Can't seem to stop. When I think about it I change it thinking its too fast or too slow so I do the opposite. Then I panick and hyperventalate. Even talking about it or typing about it it brings on an attack. Thats why I haven't made an appointment with the Dr cause when I think about going and talking about it I get real bad. Was a little better yesterday. About the usual so far today. Heat makes it worse and closed in areas. I try to get outside to fresh air when I feel it comming on. Even if I'm busy doing something I still think about it. I'm actually taking big pauses while I type this because its happening. I almost went to the hospital the other night because it was so bad but I had taken a pill and won't drive so I just tried to go to sleep. It's probably just a mental psychological thing that I'll either get over or learn to deal with. It's scary when it happens but passes after a while. I havn't ever gotten too bad while driving or working. I think thats why it was good yesterday because I was pissed off at work and didn't think about it as much. Well thats it for now I need fresh air LOL.

Thats all for now, don't worry I'll get through this.